allenerie:

I dont usually make comic strips and im really bad at it. But at some point this depressing thoughts just consumed me. 

(this will be a long rant and post)**As much as I dont want it to get to me, it does. And its really hard to get away. Im no saint either, I can get hurt and I can get jealous. I have had so many thoughts when seeing other artist or cosplayers, eventhough I tried not to think badly sometimes It just comes. I have had so many thoughts where I see other artists and feel that my art is not good enough or sometimes think that why some people get recognized more than what I do? As much as I dont care about notes or likes to be honest I do sometimes, because it still gets to me that the more likes and notes u get, the better your art is. I put so many details, i took so many days but it didnt get as much appreciation as I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel that I tried my best and I put a lot of accuracy to my costumes, I make it as neat as possible, as straight as possible and as accurate shape as possible. But people just dont look at it and dont appreciate it. But again I cant expect people to look at these stuffs and expect them to like my stuffs. “Do what you like and if you put your heart enough people will for sure notice!” thats what people say, but in reality it doesnt work like that. I just cant help thinking that my stuffs are not good enough. Is it my personality sometimes? is it my art? do they not appeal? do people not like it? what do ppl think about it? I just cant get my head around it. This goes on and on, I cried and Ive gone through depression because of this. There are so many things I want to say but I dont think its necessary to put all in here.

However, As much as these things consumed me. Ill go back and see the people that supports me too. It might not be as much as other people have, but They mean a lot to me. All these messages I got from my store review, tumblr messages, comments and etc. I read them all. I never really thank enough for it. Its selfish of me to think about all these negativity, but sorry that i couldnt help it. But again, because of you guys, no matter how many times I go through these stages, I stands up again. Like I say I cant thank you enough for all your supports, they always made my day and it whats keep me going!.

So from the bottom of my heart I would like to THANK ALL OF YOU for supporting me up until now, It keeps me motivated and I will try to do better to improve!

Im posting this to remind me also to never forget the support ive received and hopefully I can lessen all these negative thoughts in the future.